Schedules…

I am working on implementing my daily success plan.  I can now wake up at 6am–a feat I never thought possible–and accomplish some of what I want.  Now, I am working on completing tasks in a timely manner. It is taking alot of effort to stay partially on track. Moving completely onto it will be even more problematic. I keep reminding myself to rip off the bandage and go for it. It is easier to work once you start.

I am taking the GRE graduate exam again next week.  I feel more confident because I am more prepared now than I was five years ago, when I took it for the first time.  However, the past couple of weeks have been difficult. It’s hard for me to focus on studying. I want to do other things, like cook or exercise or watch shows online. I need to study. I also need to clean laundry and my house. In turn, I have continued spending my weekends with my boyfriend and other friends. I live where everyone parties, which makes it especially arduous to remove myself from party situations. My aunt has been living with my mom for almost a month, so I don’t feel comfortable going there, either. I didn’t before because, when my mom and I are home together, I feel obligated to visit with her. I like visiting; however, I would also like a place to study without people bothering me or my conscience. 

These are all valid excuses; nonetheless, they remain excuses. I have until next Thursday to study. After that, I cram for two broadcasting conference presentations. Ready steady go!

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Can’t Sleep

I’m awake & having trouble sleeping again.  I finally received a call from a retail store about a part-time job, but they only want to pay minimum wage. When I calculated it against what I make as a grad assistant, it’s about $300 less per month for the same number of hours.  It’s hard to swallow, especially when I have been paid more for part-time retail work.  I don’t have any other income right now. So far, it is the only offer I have received besides very sporadic work in other fields.  I don’t know what to do if they offer me the job tomorrow.  There still isn’t a guarantee, but I think I will have to screw up the interview very badly in order not to receive an offer.  An acquaintance offered to look over my resume & see if I look like a candidate for her office.  I don’t know if the offer stands, but it would be a step in a more forward direction than taking this other job.  It may not be my dream job, but if I can get it I will earn more experience & probably better pay than working for a retailer who wants me in a non-commission, minimum wage area.

Applications

Job applications today are different from those of yesteryear.  Most companies require you to apply online.  Some weed out the less suitable applicants using software primed to find key terms in resumes.  Others use people for the same purpose.  Either way, you’re out if you don’t have what they call “the right stuff.”  To combat this pre-screening, applicants are told to add key terms and reformat their resumes in ways their potential employers may like.  I have no idea if it really works.  It seems like either you’re what they want or you aren’t.

I’ll keep sending applications.  In the meantime, I’ll work on getting a band together.  I keep thinking I have one, but then everything falls apart.  Or they don’t call back.  Worst of all, it feels like it’s impossible to get people to call you back, especially if you aren’t on “the list” of musicians already gigging.  I don’t know if other people have to do this too, but if I don’t have something lined up, no one wants to play.  It’s very discouraging.  Between being kind of shy and sometimes needing to show more confidence in my abilities–and, unfortunately, being an attractive woman in music who plays instruments more than she sings or shakes her ass–I couldn’t get gigs in high school and barely did in college.  I know I can do it, if only other musicians would give me a chance.  I’ll keep working on booking things before I have a band.  I’ll give myself a chance first.  If I don’t make opportunities for me, no one else will.

Summer jobs

I spoke to someone Monday about getting work in foley and recording for movies.  He was a bit down about the state of the industry, but he said he will let me know when their upcoming projects happen.  I will be able to watch and participate to see if it’s something I want to do.  He said he will also pass my information on to other people.  He seemed sincere in his efforts to help me and help me help him.

A friend of mine called me the other day and offered me some work this weekend.  I don’t know how much I’m getting paid, but she said I will receive money for my efforts.  This is great news because I am temporarily unemployed.  My school job is over until the fall, and I don’t have a temporary one just yet.  I have a paying show at the end of June.  Otherwise, I’m sort of dead in the water.  I sent an application to a clothing store.  I also spoke to a few people who said they may have some work for me later.  I will still apply to some other places, since I don’t have anything concrete yet.

Tired syndrome

I both do and don’t want to do things today.

I need to finish the adjustments to my thesis paper.  I meant to do them yesterday, but I ran a bunch of errands and did the minimum in order to say I did a little bit of something yesterday.  I think about what I have left to do–and how many rewrites I will have after I submit the material–and I don’t want to do any of it.  However, the other part of my brain knows if I finish it now, I will feel better.  Therefore, I am entering the data to test for intercoder reliability.  It’s a small step in the right direction.  I also made a list of theories and checking to make sure I can make mine fit the information for my paper.

I also need to visit with my bandmate and review the music for a show in June.  We were going to do it last week, but there were schedule conflicts.  Now, I’m sort of busy doing stuff I should have finished a long time ago.  Even though it’s something I want to do, I feel tired and kind of don’t want to do it. 😛  It’s okay.  We’ll figure it out and do it soon.

Summer

Some of my friends graduated today, and I am very excited for them.  A couple of them are working in their chosen fields, and I think the others will find jobs they want soon.

I called someone about a position with a sound effects recording studio today.  He was in the middle of a project, so I am waiting for a return call this afternoon.  I really hope he calls me and offers a paid full-time position.  Of course, that’s the best case scenario.  After reading about him, I think I could handle being an unpaid intern for him if it means adding to my reel and job experience.  I also applied to a local retail store in case I don’t receive any money.  I will probably apply to a few more if the phone call tonight doesn’t pan out.  I also have a couple of other industry-related numbers to call, but I think they may be in the same boat as the guy I called today.

My friends and I have a paying gig in June.  June is a long time from now, and I have bills to pay.  Even if the other group projects I am trying turn into paying gigs, I will still need some sort of work to pay my bills.  My electricity bill is outrageous now, since both my dehumidifier and air conditioner are running.  I try to turn of the a/c whenever possible, but I know it’s going to be a hot summer in a hot apartment.  Also, I need to pay for dance classes and other expenses besides the bare necessities.